Saturday, May 14, 2011

who, what, why

The first blog post should be an introduction to yourself and your purpose, right.  So who am I?  Not quite sure at the moment.  Thought I knew until a series of (unfortunate?) events brought me to this place and time.  I think about how this happened a lot.  Bad decisions?  Or perhaps my salvation.  Not sure which, maybe one day I will figure it out in hindsight.  Who I was is easier.  Graduate student in a PhD program in Art History in a long term relationship.  Long story short, left school because of depression, anxiety and indecision about my future.  Moved home to be with boyfriend, thought I wanted a family.  We bought a house, moved in and two weeks later (christmas eve) I was dumped and homeless (ok, really only for 2 weeks before I moved back in with my mom).  So I guess this is my way of working through it.  I need to get over my fear of writing and have a place to laugh at myself.  So the blogsphere is it.  Really don't expect anyone to read this except maybe close friends.  I always wondered what would happen if your facebook updates actually reflected how you really feel, rather than the face you want to present to the world.  Like "Jane feels like slitting her wrists today, but is too lazy to get off the couch" or perhaps oversharing about ones sex life or lack thereof.   I have been tempted to try out this concept, but I really don't want to worry my friends or get institutionalized or something.  So this is my venue for experimentation.  My friend suggested it, "like sex in the city".  Of curse there will probably be more post academic angst and lessons learned than sex, but we shall see.  So here is to documenting my life post trauma.  It may get ugly.  But that's life for you.  Messy, sad, confusing, joyful, and often funny as hell.  There is nothing for you to do but enjoy the ride.